Attack of the Watervillians (Part 2): Colby prepares for the invasion

After a week-long hiatus, the hypothetical saga of Waterville’s siege against Colby continues. This week, the irreverent philosphers are joined by Steve Buxbaum ‘15 and Griffin Allen ‘16. SAM: Ok, so who would have political control in this scenario? Not SGA. PETE: Definitely not. SAM: We would have to have, like, special elections. PETE: Some professors would try to seize […]

by Pete Cronkite· · 0 comments · Opinion

Cake: a truly sorry excuse for pie

Everyone has that one day of the week when they’re being buried in stress, down on themselves and looking for light in a cruel world. We all cope with it in different ways. Some  read, some watch movies, some hang out with friends and some even exercise. I eat pie. I call a day like this “Pie Day,” though in […]

by Wes Zebrowski· · 0 comments · Opinion

Story Time: a Colby tradition becomes propaganda

After a difficult freshman year, I was on my way back to Colby in August.  I was excited to be a COOT leader and share my love for the outdoors, but I was not so convinced I could make any freshman love Colby. Between my frustration and anxiety, I couldn’t think of a single thing I could call my favorite […]

by Cassandra Biette· · 0 comments · Opinion

Izzy Zaidi: An American-born, confused Desi

“Where are you from?” “Maine.” “No, I meant to ask, where were you born?” “Buffalo, New York.” “No, I mean, where are your parents from?” “Pakistan.” And now you know the secret of my brownness. This kind of conversation has become the bane of my existence. Around the time I was two, my family moved to Pakistan. I lived there […]

by Izzy Zaidi· · 0 comments · Opinion

Stickin’ it to the wrong man

The other day, I watched a documentary made by a Colby student in which he and his friends spray-painted various buildings and then recorded security’s response. The campus guards explained how idiotic it was to illegally vandalize so many public walls, but the student filmmaker simply mocked this lecture and, after the film, explained that he was trying to send […]

by Megan Lasher· · 0 comments · Opinion

When calamity becomes comedy

From time to time over the past few years, my roommates and friends have engaged in an activity shared by college students across the country: getting drunk while playing Cards Against Humanity. For those of you who don’t know, it can be summarized as Apples to Apples with a twist: instead of matching cards like “Puppies” with “Cute,” players must […]

by Jake Bleich· · 0 comments · Opinion

Woodsmen: a truly vital defense

In a recent article, the burly Pete Cronkite and fashionable Sam Chase proposed a hypothetical scenario in which all of Waterville attacked Colby College. While the duo proposed a light-hearted and well-reasoned scenario, they made one fatal miscalculation: “Dude, the woodman’s club would be so useless.” The two are shortsighted to so quickly dismiss the lumberjack squad of Colby as […]

by Wes Zebrowski· · 0 comments · Opinion

L’Etivaz: the cream of the crop

If someone put a gun to my head and said “name your favorite cheese,” the first thing that would come to mind is L’Etivaz, a true alpine beauty. This ain’t your mother’s Gruyere; you can thank your Swiss great grandmother for this baby. To make a long story short, in the 1930s, a group of Gruyere-producing families believed that the […]

by Jon Eichholz· · 0 comments · Opinion

The scary reality of horror movies

Michael Meyers is murdering Annie Brackett. He is strangling her from behind in her car and she is screaming. And now she is straining forward to honk her car horn, trying to call for help. But to no avail; Michael Meyers is too strong. He is dragging her towards him and cutting her throat with his knife. She keels over […]

by Brandon Blackburn· · 0 comments · Opinion

Sodexo pie: better than meets the eye

The bustling kitchens of Bob’s produces many things: flatbread pizzas, rotisserie chickens, and even goat-cheese salads. However nothing can top the ruler of Bob’s cuisine: the pie. Sodexo’s pie of note this week was the Two-Layer Pumpkin. The fancy pie featured both a top layer of pumpkin pie and a bottom layer of cream, all atop a crumble crust. It […]

by Wes Zebrowski· · 0 comments · Opinion