A succinct, sassy tale of Foss’s ultimate betrayal

Anyone who knows me reasonably well is aware that I have a very special relationship with Diet Coke.  I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m addicted—I could stop anytime, I just don’t want to—but dependent is definitely a fair description. 

Over the course of my freshman, sophomore, and junior years, I enjoyed unlimited quantities of Diet Coke in the dining halls at every lunch and dinner (and possibly a few breakfasts).  This past summer, I was pounding five or six cans a day, mostly for the caffeine—it turns out working over forty hours a week and sleeping only five or six hours every night is pretty exhausting! 

As it turns out, consuming forty cans of soda a week adds up financially.  I don’t really want to know how much money I spent on soda this summer, but suffice it to say that I was really looking forward to my reunion with bottomless Diet Coke come the beginning of my senior year.  So on Sept. 1, 2014, when I met my friends for dinner after a long day of traveling and unpacking, I was heartbroken to discover that Foss dining hall is no longer home to a soft drink machine.

Heartbroken is a little bit of an overstatement.  Like I said before, I could stop anytime; I just didn’t anticipate that time would be this year (or this decade/century, for that matter).  If I frequented Dana or Bobs for lunch and dinner, I’d still be able to get my fix, but the only thing that rivals my love for Diet Coke is my love of vegetables.  Foss4lyfe. 

I spent a few days in denial (maybe the machine is just being repaired/I’m sure it will be back soon/okay, guys, this was a funny trick but please bring the soda back now), then came anger (what kind of person would do this/this is supposed to be AMERICA/thanks Obama).  Finally, I started to have some fear; after consuming so much Diet Coke throughout the summer, along with copious amounts of coffee, I was expecting to have some pretty nasty headaches as I adjusted to significantly lower blood caffeine content.

But as the first week of classes went on, I realized that I didn’t need Diet Coke as much as I thought. Now, don’t get me wrong—I still think Diet Coke is the beverage of champions, but it is always a treat to get from the Spa or vending machine or Dana on the weekends.  But I’m happy to say that my overall consumption has decreased from more than two liters a day to a single can or bottle now and then. 

So, although I miss the easy, unlimited access I had to Diet Coke in Foss the past three years, I have to admit it’s not as awful as I expected.  The lack of soda has made me drink more water, which is always a plus, and if aspartame turns out to actually cause cancer then my body will definitely thank me down the road (although at this point, it’s probably too late for me).

P.S.  If you’re a Pepsi fan, I don’t understand you and I never will.  Bye.

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